Tuesday, July 15, 2008

2 weeks to go!

We are going to have a baby very soon! Many emotions are stirring in our house including a new one this morning...fear? Am I allowed to be a little bit scared the second time around? I hope so because when I realized this morning that we could have this baby any day now and I am two weeks away from the due date, I felt a tinge of fear or maybe it is anxiety! I guess it is just one of the many emotions racing through me.

I am crying tears of joy and excitement regularly now and this morning, I cried a few tears of anxiety as I am feeling a little overwhelmed. I am not afraid of the labor or delivery...I feel prepared for her actual birth, but it is the logistics surrounding the birth and bringing a newborn home that are creating this anxiety today. We have not taken a hospital tour or even finished packing the hospital bag and I still have not finished the birth plan. My house is not as clean as I would like it to be, her new baby clothes are not washed, her bedding is not washed, and I still have not purchased a nursing bra or nursing pads! I seem to have forgotten that my boobs are about to overflow with milk! I know these are just little details, but I am usually a lot more on top of these things as a Type A personality. I can not believe that I have not organized and color coded every item in Elizabeth's closet in preparation for her arrival yet! Maybe I just have to let that stuff go this time. I was overly prepared for Sophie's arrival with lists posted everywhere and had three bags packed and in the car months prior to her birth. I laugh at myself and how crazy it is that I am so "unprepared" by my personal standards for this birth. God must be trying to teach me a little something because it can not just be coincidental that the two women (my mom and my mother-in-law) that I was counting on to help me with these details will be unable to help out! My mom fell and broke two bones in her wrist and arm and had surgery last week and will be recovering for the next 6 weeks minimum and obviously will need some extra help herself. And Clint's mom will not be able to travel here in the days or weeks following Elizabeth's birth either. How will I do this without the moms? I guess I will be forced to "wing it" some which is a little terrifying for me, but at the same time a great way to force myself to depend on the Lord for his provision!

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest via the blog posting and please forgive my crazy pregnancy rantings. I do feel better now and my husband will be pleased that I did not dump all of this on him when he walks in the door this evening from work :).


Carrie said...

Kristin, Breath-because all that baby needs is your milk and love and maybe a blanket or two for warmth:) You'll soon find that the second child gets a little less attention than the first born. I didn't have a birth plan, or nursing bras either (target has some good ones by the way:) but my little one still came. I almost feel guilty when I look at the lack of clothes Norah sports compared to what Lucy had, but I don't think she knows the difference and there is less wash to do:) Everything will come flooding back to you and you have the best little helper in the world with Sophie by your side. I'm checking the blog everyday awaiting the Birthday.

Stephens Family News said...

Hi Kristen,
Do you still have my phone number? I think we live pretty close to each other now. Please let me know if we can do anything to help! It would be a pleasure! I even have a box of Lansinoh Nursing Pads that you can have (Noelle was weaned at 13 months). Please send me your phone number and/or address via email so I can call you. :o)

KatrinLaurel said...

See... you aren't even in hyper nesting mode yet if you haven't done all that stuff. You have plenty of time to do that. Besides, could be a good labor activity if it DOES happen early.

I'm so glad that I'm not the only type A mommy out there (who admits it). It's so hard to be us, sometimes, isn't it?

And if you want, make a list of everything you wish you could do/buy but haven't yet. Then when you have visitors, we'll have something to do, besides watch your overflowing milk. :)

KatrinLaurel said...

I just got chills and tears when I thought of Sophie helping you with the new baby.... there will be THREE wonderful ladies who will be bonded, best friends for life. The best things in life ARE free!

Shanna from BabySchrades said...

You are so cute Kristen : ) Remember that you'll have an extra hand with Sophie this time around : ) They say you take the second child in stride. I know you'll have lots of support in way of food from your church, so that will help out a lot. Try not to let those nesting instincts get the best of you. The house doesn't have to be spotless. Give yourself a break because you won't get one for the next few years after Elizabeth arrives : )